BURGER ALCHEMY

image via

My boyfriend and I talk about burgers a lot. Sounds like a conversation that would get old quick, but he loves meat and I love food, so it's a source of nearly endless entertainment for us.

It's always fun and games until we get to the "best burger I've ever had" debate. We eat burgers together pretty frequently, and since we're both food lovers, you'd think we could come up with a matching consensus on where to buy the best burger, but no - it seems impossible. His favorite burgers* (from M.L. Rose and The Pharmacy) just aren't all that exciting to me, while my favorites (from Urban Stack and Tremont Tavern) aren't as much his style. I couldn't wrap my mind around this disagreement until I found an article today that offered me a golden ray of insight.

Two words: Burger Elements.

LEG SHAVING OPTIONS FOR EVERY KIND OF LADY

A three-pronged guide...

Option A: Shave Your Legs Like A Teenage Girl

Step 1: Buy the most colorful and cheap 3-pack of disposable razors at Walgreens (bonus points if the razor handles are scented)

Step 2: Smell all the shaving creams - settle on the can with the "Pink Winter Bubble Blossom" scent.

Step 3: In shower, apply 1 inch of shaving cream to entire leg.

Step 4: Shave legs.

Step 5: Make sure to avoid cutting your knees, shin bone, or back of the ankle, but end up cutting them anyway.

Step 6: After shower, sift through every Bath & Bodyworks lotion under your sink until you find "Cucumber Melon" - apply liberally...too liberally.

Option B: Shave Your Legs Like A Grown-Up Woman (In An Aveeno Commercial)

Step 1: Replace your 6-blade razor head - a fresh razor is imperative to a good, close shave.

Step 2: Stand in shower for 5 to 10 minutes while your leg pores open and hair follicles soften - smiling while you aimlessly slick your hair back with your hands and relish in the shower steam is preferred, but not required.

Step 3: Exfoliate legs with Organic Brown Sugar, Lemon Seed & Lavender Husk scrub.

Step 4: Relish in the steam some more.

Step 5: Apply All-Natural Shea, Aloe, Mint, Coconut, Paraben-Free Shaving Butter to legs.

Step 6: Prop foot on side of tub and begin closely and carefully shaving.

Step 7: After shower, pat legs dry with cashmere hand-knitted towel.

Step 8: Apply diamond cream to legs for moisture.

Step 9: Congratulation, your legs are now made of silk.

Option C: Shave Your Legs Like Hellkat

Step 1: Ask yourself the following questions:

1. Are you wearing pants? If yes, do not shave your legs.

2. Is the leg hair visible from further than 3 feet in distance? If no, do not shave your legs.

3. Are you going on a date or to a special function? If no, do not shave your legs.

4. Are you actively seeking a boyfriend? If no, do not shave your legs.

5. Are you physically or mentally uncomfortable with the amount of hair on your legs? If no, do not shave your legs.

6. Will you be going out in the cover of night? If yes, do not shave your legs.

7. Has your leg hair gone from stubbly to soft? If no, do not shave your legs.

Step 2: If an unlisted reason for shaving your legs remains, find a razor (any razor will do), cover all the bases and A.S.K. (ankles, shins, and knees), attempt to disregard razor burn, and be on your merry way!

"ALL I CAN" BY SHARON VAN ETTEN

This song makes me want to cry, and laugh, and dance all at once. If I were a runner (which, if you know me at all, you know that I am the furthest thing from that), I would run to this song. Start off slow, and then around minute 3 when the instruments swell and you can feel the passion behind the vocals, I'd sprint, and I'd get my second wind, and I would smile.

ALL OF THE JUICE

Juice is my crack.

I started buying fresh juice every day during lunch when I got my job, and I haven't stopped once. Not kidding - 29 business days in a row, I have been at the Whole Foods juice counter filling out my juice order. I can't stop, and I won't stop (you can't make me).

I AM HELLKAT, HEAR ME ROAR!

My nickname is Hellkat.

I didn't earn it for being particularly feisty, or spunky, or cool. I actually got it from an old coworker. We had recently met for the first time and after he hit on me and then promptly asserted that I was a lesbian, he gave me the title of "Hellkat" without apparent reason. It only stuck as a nickname because my friends thought the story was ridiculous and hilarious (which it was shall forever continue to be, Amen).

Hellkat didn't used to mean anything really, but it has become a defining factor of who I am.

THE BEST SONG OF ALL TIME

...is a three-way tie. I just couldn't pick one!

Undeniably great song #1:

Immeasurably fantastic song #2:

And finally, Best-Song-Ever #3, which inexplicably has no studio-version YouTube video:

I'm not joking.....


But someday I'll share some of my more contemporary music taste with you guys too.

D.I.Y. MOMS, SORORITY GIRLS, & ME: A PINTEREST LOVE STORY

Pinterest, you guys - Pinterest*.

I used to reject the idea of Pinterest (I was a real Tumblr girl). Too many impossibly complicated DIYs, too many wedding boards made by people who are definitely not currently planning a wedding, and way too many fitness tips (I'm still very much against that last bit). But I let myself begin to explore Pinterest a little over a year ago, and what began as a scornful investigation quickly became a full-blown addiction. For a broke, bored college student, there is no better way to achieve the lifestyle you want than by vicariously living through Pinterest.

My new(ish) job is really cutting into the glorious Pinterest time that I had whilst unemployed and enrolled in only one college class, but I still have time to sneak in pinning, oh you know, maybe 100 pins a week to my boards/visual inspiration station/sad imaginary online life. Every once in a while though, I find something on Pinterest that I really want to share with people outside of the world of DIY moms and sorority girls (crazy thought - I know), so Imma do that here.

Cool? Cool:

ORANGE IS THE NEW BLACK (IS THE NEW REASON I GET OUT OF BED IN THE MORNING)

YOU GUYS,

this is the show to end all shows.

Don't get me wrong - it can never replace my undying love for 30 Rock, Breaking Bad, Mad Men, Game of Thrones, Arrested Development, or (embarrassingly enough) Spongebob Squarepants - but it's certainly added to my list of faves and I've only even watched the first 4 episodes.

I keep trying to explain it to people, but the phrase, "heartwarming, heartbreaking, and hilarious!" keeps popping out of my mouth at some point during the description and apparently that is making people doubt my credibility. So just watch the preview, get the goosebumps, and then get on Netflix and start binge-watching this series:

-PS, that Rilo Kiley song in the trailer is one of my absolute favorites.

WENSLEY ST. CLAIR GRIFFITH-REDMOND

I want to introduce you guys to my roommate, Wensley the cat:

He's also technically my foster cat-child (I refer to myself as "mom's friend" so as not to deceive him from the truth), but I like telling him he's my roommate to make him feel more like an adult. I'm basically the reason he lives and breathes (because I control when and how much he eats) and he's semi-loyal, soft, and smells inexplicably of baby wipes all the time, so I love him back equally. We love hanging out and bonding. Some of our favorite hobbies include:

UPDATED: WORKING GIRL

I want to clarify that, while I have absolutely no clue what I'm doing with my life, I do have a job...kind of. Technically I'm just an intern (though my LinkedIn profile begs to differ), but I do social media for a small marketing company in Franklin, Tennessee.

My job is a 22-year old's dream come true. Want to know what I do all day? I surf the Internet. That's right - it's true - I surf the Internet all day.

As a social media manager, I scour the web for stuff to post on our clients' Facebook and Twitter profiles that their followers will find interesting and engaging. That is the simplest explanation of my jobternship and it takes a lot more effort than it seems like it should at first glance, but the fact remains - I get paid to surf the Internet* - so go ahead a feel a little jealous.

 * Bill or Pat (my bosses), if you are reading this, I swear I'm not writing this at work.

UPDATE:

I became the mayor of my office on Foursquare today (with which I am obsessed), stealing the title from my boss. He has informed me that this is a fireable offense, so the whole, "I've got a job" thing is in some serious jeopardy at this point.

I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I'M DOING HERE

I feel like maybe the title of this post could double as the title to my whole life.

I'm 22, I just graduated from college, and now I don't really know what to do - so, like any 22-year old would naturally do, I'm starting a blog.

This isn't a food blog, although with how much I'll write about food, it may well be one.

It isn't a mommy blog, because one really shouldn't have children while they are still themself a child.

It's not a fashion blog - been there done that.

It's not an advice or lifestyle blog either. I highly doubt that there are Interneters interested in advice about a lifestyle that involves a considerable amount of walking around dirty laundry and eating food that has fallen on the floor.

It's not a diary, but then again, I guess it is.

What do you do when you graduate college and you don't know what to do afterward? That's what I'm hoping to figure out. I want to know how to go from being a college kid to being a real person, I want to know what being a grown-up really even means, and, perhaps most importantly, I want to know this:

Can I have your leftovers? Because I'm really hungry.