UPDATED REVIEW: AUGUST 2013 BIRCHBOX

In which I tell you exactly how well this stuff actually works...

So it's been about a week since I received my first ever Birchbox. In my previous post about the magical, montly makeup box of goodies I hadn't yet gotten the chance to use any of my new stuff (my bad for jumping the gun there), but now I've tested it all and I'm ready to tell you all about it!

Remember ^this^ bad boy?

Let's go in order shall we?

First up to bat, the Jasmine Seven Feet Wipes:
Not gonna lie, I completely intended to throw these out unused, but for the sake of an accurate review, I'm using them (right now) for you - the reader. Overall, I was not pleased and would not buy this product. Here's why...

Pros:

• The scent is wonderful; like the freshest, cleanest peppermint you've ever smelled - but I'm still not entirely sure I want my feet to smell that way.
• The wipe isn't over saturated with the cleaning agent, so I didn't feel like it dripped all over my feet, and it did dry relatively quickly.
• My feet do feel softer after using the wipe than they did before.

Cons:

• Again, I really feel weird about my feet smelling like peppermint. Also, after using the wipe, that clean peppermint scent eventually - and quickly - gave way to a peppermint/rubbing alcohol hybrid scent that wasn't quite as enamoring.
• While the solution dried quickly, I didn't really know what to do with my feet while it was drying. I kind of held them in the air (side note: best leg workout I've gotten in years).
• My feet felt softer, but also every so slightly sticky, which kind of defeets (pun) the purpose of a foot cleaner.
• I just cleaned my feet with a wipe.

Next we've got the COOLA SPF 45 Sport - Mango

Again, not a fan. Reasons...

Pros:

• It's sunscreen, so no skin cancer for me?

Cons:

• The scent is MISERABLE. I opened the sample and received horrible wafts of what can only be described as what mid-level Hawaiian hooker might smell like (or a piña-colada-beach-themed Victoria's Secret lotion - your choice). Fresh Mango was the name of the scent, but I know a fresh mango smell, and this lotion does not have it.
• I've never used an organic sunscreen before, so I'll give them the benefit of the doubt here, but it simply did not blend in with my skin. The texture was very thick - unlike other, non-organic, watery sunscreens I've used in the past - and because of this, bright white streaks of sunscreen remained on my legs all day even after I tried to rub it in. If you're a ghost, you could get away with this look. Unfortunately, I am not a ghost.

Now there's the Amika Obliphica Blow Up Spray

I felt very medium about this product, mostly because I currently use a blowout gel that is aMaZiNg, but also it just kind of sucked...

Pros:

• It smelled lovely.
• The sample size is pretty large - I followed the directions to spray in hair in sections from root to tip, and I still have a ton left.

Cons:

• I didn't really notice any particular results. It's called a "bombshell blowout spray", and after applying to damp hair and blowdrying as I usually do, I didn't notice any difference at all in my hair. In fact, my hair seemed lifeless compared to when I use my normal product.
• It made my hair feel kind of...sticky? Not like I had just run honey through my hair or anything, but it added a not-so-clean texture after blowdrying that I am just not interested in.

Now for the Jouer Eye Definer

Definitely the winner in this box full of semi-duds.

Pros:

• The color I got is flawless. I'm generally a black-cat-eye-liner kinda gal, but this dark brown with subtle shimmer might be a game changer for me. I followed the instructions and lined my top and bottom eyelids at the outer corners, and it was beautiful! Definitely smokier & sexier than my normal look - but an understated sexy - you know, the kind you can wear to work without feeling like Christina Aguilera circa 2002.
• This pencil is smooth. Certainly not the smoothest pencil of all time (that award goes to Urban Decay), but definitely up there on the list. Imagine an eyeliner made of velvet and this is what you get.
• It applies lightly. For some people, this might be a con, but it's certainly a pro for this makeup underachiever. You can definitely make yourself look like a raccoon with this pencil if you work at it, but it can also be a delicate wink of color if you softly apply it.
• The sample size is huge! In fact, I hesitate to call it a sample at all. I think this is a full pencil, which is just money in the bank for someone like me who uses eyeliner sparingly. (Confession: this pencil will totally last me through 2014 - scoooooore!).

Cons:

• None! No complaints with this great product.

And finally, Benefit Cosmetics Triple Performing Facial Emulsion + Total Moisture Facial Cream + It's Potent! Eye Cream

Really ehhh...

Pros:

• Creams make my skin softer to the touch after application.
• The whole line smells very fresh & clean.

Cons:

• This kit was reeeally lacking in instructions. I didn't know if I was supposed to use this kit as a set once a day, twice a day, individually, every other day - Benefit really gave me nothing to work with here. The first and largest packet of moisturizer contained SPF, so I assumed that was a day cream and simply used the other two products at night. I would have loved some help there.
• By mid-morning my face felt very greasy. I do have naturally oily skin, but this was beyond the norm. I'm talking inside of an empty Lay's bag greasy. Not so fun.
• The product size and packaging was less than lovable. The packages - or rather, packets - didn't have closures, so I had to either use the product all at once (way too much for that option) or leave them propped up and open inside my medicine cabinet; I chose the latter option, which just felt weird. Also, there wasn't enough product for me to really notice a difference in my skin. I know people talk a lot of game about "miracle creams", but none of them start after only 1 use. I need more of this stuff to know how it works!

All in all, I got the same impression from using the products as I did from opening the box - just not for me. I've still got hope for the next box, which should ship out in just a few weeks!